


January

by bunnysworld



Series: Calendar Series [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though it's difficult for him, Leon has to do it</p>
            </blockquote>





	January

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the beta, tam!
> 
> Part 3 of the Calendar Series. You might want to start reading at the beginning, I doubt it makes a lot of sense otherwise

Leon sat up and sighed. The heavy snowfall outside the window didn’t really lift his mood. He knew Merlin wasn’t sleeping any more, but hadn’t said a thing. 

“I’m sorry, Merlin, I can’t do this any more.” He closed his eyes and swallowed against the tears that threatened to fall. 

Behind him, Merlin scrambled into a sitting position. “Okay.”

‘Okay’, that was all he got. Leon couldn’t move. 

 

That night in April, when they were celebrating Gwaine’s birthday, he finally decided to take action. He couldn’t stand watching Merlin pining for Arthur any more. For years he’d watched, waited, stood by, hoping Merlin would finally get over it and notice that he was there, right next to him. 

So he’d grabbed that bottle of whiskey and found Merlin in the garden. They’d talked and then made their way out of there. They’d ended up at Merlin’s place, drinking some more. In the morning, they’d woken up in each others arm, horribly hung-over. 

They met more often from that night on, going out for dinner, seeing movies and plays, going to clubs. One night, lots of alcohol had been involved, they started kissing in the middle of the dance floor. They barely made it to his apartment before they jumped each other’s bones. Leon couldn’t walk properly for days. 

Their friends slapped their shoulders, told them they were happy for them and started referring to them as ‘MerlinandLeon’. 

They had a great summer with a trip to Spain where Merlin had dragged him around to see old buildings and remote villages up in the mountains when they didn’t spend their time on the beach. 

Summer turned into autumn and soon they made plans for Christmas and a skiing trip to Switzerland. 

After all those years of being a friend, Leon allowed himself to be happy. The sex was great and Merlin was generally a sweet guy. But Leon knew that not everything was rainbows and puppies. 

They hardly ever stayed at Merlin’s place and the only things Merlin had brought over were a toothbrush and some of his emergency allergy meds. The offer to clear some space in his closet for some of Merlin’s clothes had been rejected, and Merlin only came over when he knew Leon was already home. He never used the key Leon had given him. 

On New Year’s Eve they went to a huge party with all of their friends and counted down the New Year like everyone else. They even kissed at midnight, but Merlin had been very distant. 

Now they were in Merlin’s place and Leon just couldn’t go on like this anymore.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

Merlin moved over and leaned his cheek against Leon’s shoulder blade. “I’m sorry, Leon.” 

Leon sighed again. “I wish I was enough for you.”

“I wish I could give you what you want. I love you Leon, it’s just...”

“It’s just...I’m not him.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin repeated.

He didn’t move, didn’t want to break the contact, he wanted to feel Merlin so close this last time. So Leon sat there, watching the snowflakes cover the world in a thick white blanket and knew that he always was going to be second best. He should have known that Merlin never would be his.


End file.
